My Poem: Kingdom of Dreams
Posted by shrchalj1 on October 27, 2007
Kingdom of Dreams
By Shrchalj1
My mind is floating away,
I’m flying in the deep crimson sky,
My clothes ripple in the evening breeze,
The wind in my hair,
I look down,
No land, no buildings, no home,
But I know I am safe,
I’m nearly back to my Kingdom,
My castle in the sky.
With soaring turrets and strong bulging walls,
You will always be safe here,
I see the flag gliding in the air like a delicate bird,
With all the colours of a rainbow gleaming in the sky,
A welcoming sign to of peace and comfort to any weary traveller,
A place where every sleepy heart belongs.
Every night I visit to help solve problems or worries,
But you have to deal with many dangerous creatures that dwell here,
Any creatures you can imagine survives safely here,
Magic is the life blood of my dreams,
Without magic and fantasy you could never come here,
Without magic and fantasy you could never be free.
I see the Golden Gates open out before me,
The smell of flowers fill my senses,
A scarlet red carpet magically flows before me,
A sea of faces greet me as I step into the grounds,
Many people small, large, old and young smile at me,
They know it is me, because I care for each and everyone of them,
With my heart and soal
This is a place of happiness and kindness,
A place of peace and grace,
This is my castle in the sky,
My Kingdom of Dreams
For you and me,
And of course our dreaming companions.
Please put a comment! And tell me if it is OK or Brill! Or not very good. Or even how to improve it!
shrchalj1!
shrarmsc1 said
yer i do
shrchalj1 said
Thanks! I like your form presemtion!
7Q PSHE - Period 4: Monday 19th November « ICT@SHR said
[...] 19, 2007 Posted by ictatshr in 7Q. trackback Starter: Please go to the 7Q blog and look at shrchalj1’s poem. Read it and then leave a comment with two stars and a wish (details of this are on the left hand [...]
shrdolpe1 said
I will Comment!
* Really imaginative
* Cool words like “bulging”!
Wish, Shorter!
shrmitci1 said
*Your poem is VERY good
*You have a very good imagination
I DONT THINK THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT!!!!!
shrbeecl1 said
very good and descriptive and i love it
shrarmsc1 said
I LIKED THE POEM AND U DECRIPED WELL
shrkells2 said
i think that your poem was reeeeeeeeeeallygood, but i think that it was just a bit too long!
shrhumpi1 said
I thought that they were g8.
shrkells2 said
well done
shrchalj1 said
Thankyou everyone! I think i used lots of description, texture, but i could use more vocab!
shrgreal1 said
*This is soooooooo good and I LOVE your poem
*Are you a proffesional?……………Undercover super poet Jodie!!
There is nothing to change it is soooo cool! WELL DONE!!!
shrrumbc1 said
Hi
It is good
Good imagination
Make sure you haven’t copied the song, castle in the cloud
shrhanch1 said
*your poem is Really good.
*it leaves a really nice picture in your mind!!!
A LITTLE BIT SHORTER!!!!
shrhitcf1 said
how did you learn to do peoms like that? P.S. that is very good
shrmcadb1 said
WOW!!! That is so cool it must of taken you AGES!!!!! It was sorta long but still very good
shrgoddd1 said
*I realy like the description, it creates vivid pictures in my head.
*I think you started and ended it brilliantly.
YOU SPELT SOUL WRONG
thats the only thing really
shrpritj1 said
love the poem it was great hehe a bit soppy though i dont mean it really it was amazing and i think you should be a poet when you are older but anything you will do when you are older will probably be good! bye bye xxx from shrpritj1
shrheala1 said
it is absolutly brilliant i really like it how did you come up with it
it is a bit long it could stand to be shorter
some of the lines were long lines and some were short
shrburrc1 said
shrchalj1 that poem was fab it was way better than mine it was just like a dream the way youm described how you were floating it was realy good
shrdwyee1 said
You are very good at writing poems
You have a good imagination
You don’t need to change ANYTHING!!!
shrdubem1 said
wow! thats really good shrchalj1
shrblace1 said
*Its relly imaginative
*You use interesting words
Wish——— I wish i could write like that!!!
shrpowem2 said
It was Brill! Only, you spelt soul wrong. I really felt i was above the clouds looking down… SCARY!! I can also imagine big gold gates and old and young people lookig at me, and the gates opening… COOL!!
I loved it!!
By the way, are you in Heaven?
Ooh, what does your castle look like?
shrdolpe1 said
That sounds like a professional poem, like one in a book!
shrchalj1 said
Thank you!!!! soz i will watch my spellings…